There comes a moment when you discover that you no longer need to speak all the time in order to feel connected. That there is another kind of presence — deeper, calmer — where relationships are not measured by words, but by the quality of the silence between them.
For many of us, reaching this place requires a long journey. Especially in a culture where “socializing” often means “talking without purpose.”
1. Talkativeness as a Cultural Norm
In Romania, small talk has become a silent code of belonging.
If you talk a lot, about anything, it means you “fit in.”
If you choose silence, you suddenly become “strange,” “cold,” or “uncommunicative.”
But behind this collective need to speak hides, in fact, the fear of silence.
Silence forces us to hear our own thoughts, to feel our emotions.
That’s why many avoid it instinctively.
And yet, within conscious silence there is a form of presence that words cannot reach.
When you no longer speak to fill a void, but choose to be silent out of clarity — not fear — only then does authenticity appear.
2. Silence as a Weapon: A Subtle Deviation
There is, however, another side to it: people who choose silence not as a form of depth, but as a tool of control.
That cold, strategic silence that doesn’t create space, but distance.
“I stay silent, you feel exposed, and you start explaining yourself.”
It’s a refined dynamic, but profoundly devoid of presence.
It’s no longer about introspection, but about power.
That’s why it’s important to feel the difference:
- living silence is warm, it breathes, it invites you in;
- defensive silence is rigid, it subtly pushes you away.
3. Between Noise and Control — The Place of Discernment
Navigating between these extremes — between the verbal flow of “normality” and the manipulation of silence — there is a stage of inner refinement.
You can’t skip it.
It’s the process through which you learn to recognize the vibration behind words (or their absence).
When you reach this point, you no longer speak to be validated, nor do you stay silent to hold control.
You choose both from a place of clarity and freedom.
4. Calm Silence — The Beginning of Authentic Connection
Authentic silence is not absence, but full presence.
It’s the space where no one tries to be anything other than what they are.
Where a look, a breath, and presence itself say more than a thousand words.
To stay there, you need inner safety — the ability to sit in silence without feeling the need to explain it.
It’s a rare form of intimacy, but deeply nourishing.
5. Speaking From Silence, Not Instead of It
Perhaps it’s not about choosing between speech and silence.
But about letting silence be the root from which the right words can grow.
About no longer communicating from anxiety, but from presence.
The relationships that remain beside you after choosing this path will be fewer, but they will breathe more deeply.
Because beyond the social noise, authentic connection begins where silence no longer separates — it unites.