{"id":14057,"date":"2025-10-28T11:06:03","date_gmt":"2025-10-28T09:06:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mandalamindfulness.com\/?p=14057"},"modified":"2026-05-09T00:02:16","modified_gmt":"2026-05-08T21:02:16","slug":"dupa-furtuna-vine-si-vreme-buna","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mandalamindfulness.com\/en\/dupa-furtuna-vine-si-vreme-buna\/","title":{"rendered":"After the Storm, There is Good Weather"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

When I began my journey of self-discovery, I was around 14 years old. Part of my motivation to follow such a path came from the suffocation I felt under the weight of everyone\u2019s expectations around me. I\u2019m not saying everything was difficult or ugly \u2014 but the beautiful memories, the ones full of genuine joy, were hidden beneath dense layers of pain, humiliation, shame, contempt, sadness, and loneliness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t expect it would take more than 20 years to truly arrive at the core of myself. And no, my story wasn\u2019t among the most tragic ones. I was an apparently normal, happy, well-behaved child who did well in school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am c\u0103l\u0103torit prin multe abord\u0103ri de teorie spiritual\u0103, prin teorie psihologic\u0103, psihanalitic\u0103, sistemic\u0103 \u0219i transgenera\u021bional\u0103, cognitiv-comportamental\u0103, pozitiv\u0103. Am fost pasionat\u0103 de arhetipuri \u0219i de categorii de experien\u021b\u0103 uman\u0103. Mi-am dorit, din tot sufletul, s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg. S\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg ce c\u0103ut\u0103m aici, \u00een lumea asta, de ce lucrurile sunt a\u0219a cum sunt, de ce oamenii sunt a\u0219a cum sunt. \u0218i mai ales, de ce c\u00e2nd inten\u021bionam s\u0103 fac un lucru bun, rezultatul era at\u00e2t de departe de inten\u021bia mea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was always among the top of my class during middle and high school. I grasped principles and information quickly, but I can honestly say that some of them I\u2019m only beginning to truly understand now. Just the other day, I was looking with fascination at prime and composite numbers, noticing how magical mathematics becomes when the accumulated information starts to connect. And how life itself becomes more beautiful when things start to connect and make sense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Looking back, I realize that most of my limitations in understanding and assimilating certain theoretical concepts had their roots not in my IQ, but in the emotional blockages I had developed, especially during childhood. We don\u2019t live in a society that necessarily encourages respect for personal rhythm and learning pace, so I remember with even more affection, respect, and gratitude the teachers, tutors, colleagues, and mentors who truly contributed to my growth. They are people who, perhaps without realizing it, saved small parts of me by offering healthier experiences than those that came before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, there were also other types of experiences that made me develop a deep reluctance toward certain fields of learning. And there, I had more to work on healing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although over time I invested in four different therapies, each lasting between one and three years, the greatest challenge was the period I had to go through alone. One of the therapists I worked with once told me that I didn\u2019t trust therapy. I didn\u2019t feel I had the space to say it then, but the truth is I no longer trusted people \u2014 not therapy. I trusted the process, and I still do, but I believe that a healthy process is not necessarily a therapeutic one. From my perspective, a therapist \u2014 the therapist as a person \u2014 can only take you as far as they have travelled within themselves. And although I learned something from every experience, the endings were just as necessary. What I can say, however, is that after many attempts that failed to various degrees, I have finally learned how to part ways differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beyond what I worked through in therapy, the greatest challenge was to sit alone with my pain. At some point, I noticed that when I tried to communicate my pain, my emotions were often dismissed or denied \u2014 which may not seem like such a big problem \u2014 but my priority was to process them, no matter how painful that was. So, the last part of the journey back to myself happened in a kind of semi-isolation. I confess that only during those moments did I truly understand, in practice, a great deal of the theoretical knowledge I had gathered through years of study, as well as much of what I had gained from previous therapies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O parte dificil\u0103 din proces a fost s\u0103 recunosc c\u00e2t de mult am r\u0103nit oameni din jur, care \u00eemi erau dragi, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eemi dau seama. \u0218i s\u0103 \u00eemi amintesc \u0219i s\u0103 permit s\u0103 doar\u0103. Apoi, un alt nivel de durere a fost s\u0103 recunosc c\u00e2t am fost de r\u0103nit\u0103, mai ales de oameni pe care \u00eei iubeam \u0219i pentru care a\u0219 fi f\u0103cut aproape orice. Dincolo de revolt\u0103, a fost extrem de dificil s\u0103 accept faptul c\u0103 nu au f\u0103cut-o, poate, cu inten\u021bie, ci pentru c\u0103, la momentul respectiv, at\u00e2t au putut face. Am \u00een\u021beles c\u0103 multe interac\u021biuni au fost repeti\u021bii ale unor dinamici disfunc\u021bionale din familie, perpetuate de multe genera\u021bii. Le-am studiat \u00een detaliu, c\u00e2t am avut acces, p\u00e2n\u0103 la genera\u021bia str\u0103bunicilor, ca s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg de ce. De ce durere, de ce respingere, de ce umilire, de ce dispre\u021b. R\u0103spunsurile au fost variate: de la limit\u0103rile instrumentelor vremurilor la limit\u0103rile de \u00een\u021belegere ale formelor de organizare din societate \u0219i p\u00e2n\u0103 la un anumit inevitabil al vie\u021bii. Ce am mai descoperit, treptat, este c\u0103 a\u0219a se transmite, de fapt, via\u021ba: prin talente (bagaje de experien\u021b\u0103 procesate \u0219i transmise adecvat), dar \u0219i traume (bagaje de experien\u021b\u0103 neprocesat\u0103). \u0218i am acceptat, la un moment dat, c\u0103 pentru a ajunge la ce s-a transmis valoros pe linia mea de familie, am de traversat straturi \u00eentregi de durere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Somehow, ever since I was little, I knew I had to do this. Not as a calling, but because otherwise, I would never live a life I could truly call my own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continuing through those layers of pain, perhaps the hardest part was forgiving myself for not knowing how to protect myself from it. Because unconsciously, I was the one who put myself in danger \u2014 and I lost a lot each time I did so. And only after I managed to negotiate this essential detail within myself was I able to hold myself and offer myself what I had not received. To move through the pain, loneliness, and despair I had lived at such a young age. And which, inevitably, I relived in the exact same emotional way: alone. Only this time, I wasn\u2019t truly alone. It was me \u2014 with myself. Maybe what made the biggest difference was that I finally allowed myself to accept my failures, my mistakes, my losses \u2014 and to love myself anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I believe that only from that point begins to exist a space in which I can start to trust people again. Not completely, not everyone \u2014 but some, those who can respect the fact that I have a soul and my own boundaries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In conclusion, I would mention one aspect \u2014 perhaps the most relevant one in such a process: that pain can only be alchemized after it\u2019s accepted as personal, real, and valid, even if it doesn\u2019t relate to something from the present. It seems no one can live our pain for us. We can postpone it or choose to feel it \u2014 as our inner resources allow. Only then do the blocked memories return, along with the missing pieces of the life puzzle and the unexpressed talents. Only then does the personal story, in all its wholeness, begin to make sense. Only then do we realize that the blockages were, in fact, redirections \u2014 that what we lost was never meant to stay with us beyond a certain time \u2014 and that, in essence, we are exactly where we need to be, on our path in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that everything we need to take the next step is in the here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

C\u00e2nd am pornit \u00een c\u0103l\u0103toria mea de autocunoa\u0219tere, aveam vreo 14 ani. O parte din motiva\u021bia de a urma o astfel de cale a fost sufocarea pe care am tr\u0103it-o \u00een raport cu a\u0219tept\u0103rile tuturor celor din jurul meu. Nu spun c\u0103 a fost totul dificil \u0219i ur\u00e2t, ci c\u0103 amintirile frumoase, pline de bucurie […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14057","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cuvinte-cu-viata","category-mindfulness"],"yoast_head":"\nDup\u0103 furtun\u0103, vine \u0219i vreme bun\u0103 - MANDALA MINDFULNESS<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mandalamindfulness.com\/en\/dupa-furtuna-vine-si-vreme-buna\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dup\u0103 furtun\u0103, vine \u0219i vreme bun\u0103 - MANDALA MINDFULNESS\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"C\u00e2nd am pornit \u00een c\u0103l\u0103toria mea de autocunoa\u0219tere, aveam vreo 14 ani. 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