I had a rather difficult time recently and took a break from painting mandalas.
But it was useful, as it gave me the opportunity to lean into the memories that brought this project to life: my grandfather painting watercolor greeting cards.
I still had a set of squirrel brushes from him, but it was old, and they were not very useful, so I had to make a small investment and buy new ones.
I bought a set of the cheapest watercolor set I found: The Romanian Colibri set (photo) and the cheapest watercolor sketchbook I could find, some appropriate brushes and I started.
I am sharing a few of my sketches (photo), as I played a bit in the sketchbook. Please be sympathetic as it’s my first try, I did not actually practice this since I was in school.
I need to lean into perspective, shadow and a lot of composition aspects, but these are the first few sketches, based on real life scenes.
This small detour helped me reconnect and I finally found the resources to finish the blue & white mandala I stared some time ago, which will be soon photographed and available in the shop.
And, on a personal note,
This experience made me realize that the most valuable inheritance I received from my grandparents were not the brushes, not the books, not the advice, but the experiences. The inspiration. Observing that „this can be done”.
I guess this is the most valuable thing that someone can offer us: who they are. And this opens spaces within us that we never knew were there.
I am not saying this was easy. It implied a great lot of grieving. It was a very long and hard journey for me to find that memory within me and bring it back to life, in my own way, in my own life. But it was totally worth it.
Today, I received a precious confirmation that I am now sharing with you: there is only one true way in life: the way within. The hardest way, the one that makes us confront our deepest fears, our darkest memories.
And I guess freedom means having the capacity to feel those excruciating feelings as well.
It is not about „how can I escape this?”, but about „how do I find the appropriate resources, methods and tools to confront this?”.
As in life, we do not truly escape anything. What we are meant to live, we will, the only difference resides in the how: by choice or forced by circumstances. Maybe this is what free will means.
