📘 A personal guide for when I’m done with BS and just want to know what’s real
Sometimes, people move through our lives with heavy steps, leaving deep and abrupt marks. Other times, they appear quietly, with a gentle glance, a small gesture, a presence that asks for nothing.
In moments when everything feels unclear, it can be hard to tell who truly comes into our lives and who just enters to take what they can.
I’ve been there. Sometimes, I still am.
So I felt the need to gather, for myself, a few clear signs—a set of landmarks to guide me whenever I feel lost among empty gestures and forced connections.
This list is about connections that don’t hurt, about those rare encounters that don’t consume you but gather you.
It’s not a recipe. It’s a kind of compass.
Maybe you’ll feel it the same way:
1. I don’t have to say anything to be seen
If someone notices me in silence, without expecting performance, jokes, explanations, or a “better version” of myself, it’s a good sign. Presence matters more than words.
2. The gaze doesn’t scan me. It welcomes me.
When I look into someone’s eyes and feel no pressure, judgment, or “what can I get from you?”—just gentle calm—it’s a sign I’m not an object. I’m a being. And I’m seen as such.
3. The smile comes with the soul, not a mask
It’s warm, sincere, slightly imperfect, maybe even awkward. But it softens me rather than tensing me. It shows the person in front of me feels and allows themselves to feel.
4. Small consistency matters more than big attention at the moment
If small interactions are constant, regardless of context, how I appear, or who I’m with, it means the person doesn’t only engage with the “role” I happen to play at that moment.
5. Small gestures carry deep meaning
A “please, go ahead first today, especially since it’s March 8th” can mean more than a pile of empty compliments. Because it’s not about what is said — it’s about how it makes me feel.
6. Shame is gentle, not toxic
If someone seems embarrassed or awkward, but doesn’t break the connection, run away, or hide, it means they are alive. They feel. And their ego doesn’t always demand control.
7. After the interaction, I feel… alive. Not drained.
If I leave with an inner smile, even a small one, if I feel my day has brightened a bit without knowing why, it’s a sign something real happened there.
8. Help comes without hesitation, without strings attached
When someone helps you because they can and want to, not because they expect anything in return or want to feel “important,” you can feel it. You don’t need to check intentions — you feel it in your heart.
9. Recognition is mutual, but without pressure
No one asks for anything. It’s not flirtation, it’s not clinging, it’s not competition. Just two beings seeing each other, as they are, without running away. Anything can grow from there—or it can remain just that. That’s enough.
10. Who they are matters more thanwhat they do
It doesn’t matter what’s on their resume, their status, what they have or don’t have. What matters is how they behave when they think no one’s watching. How they respond to my discomfort. Who they become in my presence..
✨ Final note for myself:
Whenever I forget what an authentic connection feels like, I can come back here. I can reread these lines written from my own experience. And I can remember:
Yes, it exists. Yes, I feel the difference. Yes, I deserve this kind of relationship.
And I will no longer settle for less.
Textul de mai sus este rezultatul unui proces personal de observare, autocunoaștere și reînvățare a încrederii în relații.
I wrote it for myself, but I thought it might also help others seeking the same thing: emotional truth and beautiful people.